There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
there's paper in my vomit.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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