I think i peed on brittanys purse
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Pants are for mortals
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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