This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
