A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
