Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
