GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
