Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
