I bet he comes in French.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
