I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
