Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
