i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
