Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
