Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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