i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i came on her dog
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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