She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize