She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
