I am in a vortex of obligation.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
