Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We need to get me chipped asap
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize