Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
