lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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