This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
