BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
