what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
