He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
