sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
