I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize