The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Semen is not good for contacts.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
