Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
