Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
