I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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