The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
