dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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