Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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