I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
