I want to stick my p in your. b.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
