? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
