how can u be prego again
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I had to cum in my sink.
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