Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize