I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I need a burrito and a hug.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
