i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
