i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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