Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Someone came in the potted fern
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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