there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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