I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
