1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
