Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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