normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
