I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
