I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Sorry about my life...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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