OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I believe in your delicious
jump out the window naked night went bad
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
