Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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