i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize