my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
