you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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