Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She's JV to your varsity
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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