Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
the condom got lost in my hair
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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