You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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